My first memories...
of adoption.
I've always know I was adopted, it's not as if it is something my parents could hide even if they wanted to. I had a lot of mixed feelings about adoption as a young child. My first though was what was wrong with me that made my mommy not want be. There must be something terribly wrong with a child for her mother to not want them.
I decided that I would be the best child at school so maybe mommy would love me again and I could meet her. I didn't want to leave my aparents, but I still wanted my first mother so badly.
I still feel the urge to be the best I can, so that maybe, when I meet her, she'll be proud of me.
Labels: Adoption, Maybe I'm a bit fabulous?
My story.. (part one)
I was born on summer day. It was a c- section birth. Beyond that, I know nothing.
My mother didn't know what to do. Could she keep me? She already had one child and wanted to go to nursing school. What was she to?
She left me at the hospital for three weeks. I never opened my eyes. The doctors thought something was very wrong with me, but they did not know what. Perhaps metal retard they wrote on their charts? Never did they think, perhaps, I missed my mother.
I was there for those three weeks because she was conflicted. Threes is such a short time to make a choice that will affect the rest of your life.
She signed the papers. They hunted down my father. He wouldn't sign until he was sure he wouldn't have to pay child support. He had another women pregnant the same time my mother was pregnant with me. I do not know if it is a sister or brother.
I went to foster care with the hospital directors family. I was there until I was 2 months 4 days old. They overfed me and I was very fat baby. My name was Cassandra...
Labels: Adoption, Maybe I'm a bit fabulous?, My story
There is a lady all in white...
Holds me and sings a lullaby
She's nice to see, and she's soft to touch
She says: 'Cosette I love you very much.'
-Les Miserables
Have I mentioned that my mother may be dead? When I was younger, I worked very hard at finding my first mother. Sadly the agency said she has disappeared.
I think on her often. Is she alive? If so, is she happy? Does she miss me or hate my memory? Was she forced to relinquish me? If she wasn't, what was the situation that caused her to place me?
For these questions, I have no answers.
Labels: _, Adoption, Maybe I'm a bit fabulous?
The Other Mother.
We found my brother J's mother! I'm so happy for him. He has an older brother who remembers him and a sister a year older than A(my little sister). His mother has done very well. She's a SAHM. The whole family is supposed to come up for graduation in June. I'm frighted, yet exited. What if they don't like my family? My house? Me?
Yet, I wonder... If R had the support she has now, we she had my brother, would she have felt the need to place? Could she have kept her baby?
My brother stayed with her for the first month of his life, while she discussed things with her minister. I know this is a much longer period of time than what most mothers have, but I wonder if he urged her to place. He flew with her to Boston when she took my brother to the agency. I wonder if he was urging her to place all the while?
Labels: Adoption
Run and tell that...
So, finally, I decided to make a post about race. This should prove interesting.
First off, how does race affect my family dynamics: it doesn't. That was a bit abrupt so let me explain. Both my parents are white, A and little J and white. Big J is biracial and I'm black. As far as I can tell none of this has affected our family dynamics. Although when we were younger A used to tell me that Mom and dad didn't love me because I'm black. Being the brat I am, I'd fire back that she was an accident.
My parents have protected big J and me from their racist relatives so I've never met any of those asshats. Not to say that all my relatives are racist because they certainly aren't they accepted Big J and I the same as A and Little J.
Now, on a larger scale as far as my town goes, I'm one of maybe 6 black people in this town. Let me tell you, black history month is fun. Back in elementary school, the kids thought I was the repository of information about blacks and what we've done, invented and other such things. It's a lot of pressure to be the represent for your race when you're just a kid.
I've only been harassed a dozen times though, so things aren’t that bad around here. The earliest memory I have of this is from pre-school. One of my friends said her mom told her not to hang out with me because I was dirty. The little girl thought it was silly. If I remember right she said, "You're not dirty, you just have a good tan." We went back to playing.
Later on in elementary school black history month came up and some kid decided that because I was black, I was her slave. I think this was in kindergarten or 1st. These were the same years I was spit on when I was riding the bus. That was a different girl, but once again I was called dirty.
Nothing really happened in middle school. Thus far in high school, I've only had one incident and he was a stoner anyway so I didn't really care. He told me to go back to Africa and I told him I was from Arkansas. That response worked very well.
Labels: Adoption, Maybe I'm a bit fabulous?
Embryo "Adoption"
Read this about this on Juliesblog and decied to mack a post. http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/2580198
I really, really don't like this term. It just rubs me the wrong way. There is a big difference between adopting a child and receiving a bundle of cells, that [i]might[/i] someday be a child. What's next, sperm adoption? Sperm has the ability to, with an egg of course, become a child too. So, if you steal an embryo, is that considered kidnapping? I figure if you can adopt something and have it count as adopting a child, then stealing that same thing would count as kidnapping. That, of course, means no one can sell eggs, sperm, or embryos, because that's child trafficking. Right?
Our brave and fearless leader, had to take the time to stick his nose in this, too. Um, what about that war? You know, the one you started? Anyway back to the point.
"Snowflake Child" is cutesy term for a child who was born from a mother who received donated embryos. They are Bush's reason for not liking stem cell research. He is of the mindset that every family with extra embryos should donate them to another family. This makes no sense as 1. There aren't enough families and 2. Not every couple wants to donate their extra embryos. Bush doesn't care about what people want, though, otherwise he'd listen to the 67% of the population who are for stem cell research.
Labels: Adoption, Dirty Weasels
